Last night could have been a sitcom.
A little background:
The night Cooper got home from the hospital, we were pretty tired as we vegged in front of the TV after the kids were in bed. Luke woke up about 10 and started howling. This was nothing new, he has pretty much always been a TERRIBLE sleeper. He sleeps through the night maybe once every two weeks or so. The rest of the time he wakes up 2-6 times a night, and I have gotten so used to walking into his room, laying him back down, covering him back up, and then falling back into bed myself that it's almost like rolling over in my sleep. And he goes right back to sleep, so it's hard not to respond. Yes, I'm a mother of five and yes, I've made all of my kids "cry it out", multiple times (because for my kids it never works after just one time except maybe short term). Luke was about due for another sleep training session, and I was too exhausted to get off the couch, so I let him cry it out for 45 minutes. (Boston came downstairs to complain a couple of times.)
Wonder of wonder, it worked! Luke has slept ALL night long for the past six days in a row. Now for the negative part, where I collect and compile the Murphy's Law details that make this a story. (Filled with drama and irony, I assure you.)
The first night, Cooper was up with surgery pain. Totally fine and expected. But then hard for me to get
|Cooper shows off his post-op look with his Grizzlies souvenir||.|
The second night, Macy was up for some reason, Leslie woke me up too early in the morning.
The third night, Cooper walked in his sleep and had an accident before we were home from our date. Macy also wet the bed (only the second time in her whole life). Leslie got scolded for not making sure they both used the bathroom when she put them to bed.
The fourth night, Macy woke me up, worried that she had had too much water to drink that day and might wet the bed again. Then she woke me up a few hours later because she needed another blanket.
The fifth night, I didn't get to sleep until about 2 because my brain was busy decorating my new house under contract. Macy had a horrible screaming dream around 5:30. (Probably got too hot under all those blankets.)
(Just noticed, Boston is looking like an angel in this story for a change.)
So then we come to yesterday, as I was starting to rant and rave about never getting a good night's sleep for the rest of my life and wondering if that would be the night I would finally break the pattern. I tried to be grateful that Luke was sleeping all night, but I also have much experience dueling with the "conspiracy of waking up mom" that my kids seem to have entered into.
After we said our family prayers and sang "Silent Night" (just now laughing at THAT coinkydink), I gave the kids a little pep talk. It went something like this.
"Kids, I have a really great plan for tonight. Mom has had a really hard time getting to sleep ALL night long. Lukey has been super good at sleeping the last few nights, so let's all work together to see if mom can sleep all night, too. So, if anybody has a bad dream, when they wake up, they can just say, "Phew, I'm glad that was just a dream" and go back to sleep. Everyone is going to use the bathroom right now. If anyone gets cold, they can just look around and see where their blankets fell off onto the floor and put them back on again, or they can get an extra one out of the linen closet, or they can put on some warmer pajamas, and , poof, go right back to sleep. See? We don't need to wake up mom and dad. We can do all that stuff ourselves." (Notice how I didn't name names? It was tricky.)
And to all a goodnight.
Bah bah BAAAH!
About three o'clock Cooper comes wandering in, howling at the top of his lungs. I try to instantly assess the situation since he is pretty much non-communicative.
1. Is he in pain from his surgery? No, don't think so, he's felt fine for a few days now.
2. Is he sleepwalking? Possibly. He sleepwalks about twice a month, but it's usually because he has to use the potty, and I KNOW he already did that. However, he's not making much sense and is kind of dancing around weird, so...
3. Did he have a bad dream? I asked him. He violently shook his head no.
4. Some Other problem. I ask him, "What's the matter?" Howl howl, lips trying to form words but not quite closing around the howl. Finally I make out, "I burned Tao!"
Ah, so it WAS a bad dream. Tao is his buddy from China he sits by at school. I hugged Cooper and say, "Shhhh. You burned Tao? It was just a dream honey."
"No! It's NOT a dream! I burned Tao for REAL!"
Hmmm. Weird. "You burned him at recess or something?"
"NOOO! Not TAO! I burned a towel! Right now! In the microwave! And my leg HURTS!"
I smell smoke.
My chest seriously hurt for at least an hour because I think my heart stopped or something with the adrenaline. I gave Mark a swift kick because he sleeps like the grateful dead, and calmly told the both of them that Daddy would go downstairs and help Cooper get a heatpack on his leg (dratted growing pains--forgot to role play that scenario at bedtime) and that Cooper had just burned a towel in the microwave, and that I wasn't mad about a hole in my towel, I loved him and it didn't matter. Treat the person, then the problem. A+ for this cursed mama.
|The remains of my dishtowel, tossed onto the snow last night.|
I pulled the covers over my head (and nose) and tried to decide whether to laugh or cry or pray, or all three.
Mark had a hard time going back to sleep--he was the one who had pulled the wet dishtowel stunt for the leg pains when we couldn't find the rice bag in the middle of the night. Cooper's repeat experiment just forgot about the part where you add water. In all honestly, I think Cooper was mostly super upset that he ruined something, and frightened, too. I also am not a hundred percent sure that he tried to do it all himself because of my little speech--he might have done that anyway. Right? But then, of course, it wouldn't be much of a story.
Luke slept all night long.