Days 2017

Days 2017

Thursday, June 4, 2009

June Song

Last week a book I ordered came in the mail--Love and Logic for Toddlers. I needed a little parenting refresher course because I find myself at a loss with Boston particularly and don't want to resort to breaking my wooden spoons on him. (Just kidding.) Plus, I figure that if I get it right with him, Cooper mimics everything he does and should be a piece of cake.
I've read some Love and Logic stuff before, but not since Leslie was quite little and perfect in every way, so I'd forgotten a lot of their advice, not ever really having practiced it. I'm excited to change my ways and surprisingly, I'm using it on Leslie, too.
For example, one of the main ideas is to "Let the Consequences do the Teaching" instead of nagging and lecturing all the time. For one thing, kids lose all respect for what you say if you are a broken record, for another, it makes them think subconsciously that "if mom is always reminding me to do things, I must not be smart enough to handle it myself". I am really weak in this area and have trouble keeping my mouth shut. I'd much rather beat the dead horse with trying to reiterate what lesson should have been learned. The trick (I guess) is to plan ahead.
I chose one thing that I am constantly nagging Leslie about--combing her hair. If I remind her and remind her, she gets sick of me and tells me she doesn't care how she looks. So we started the summer fresh with a new short haircut. Then I explained to her the morning routine for the rest of the summer--eat breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth, etc. I told her that to help her remember to do her hair every day we were going to add an extra consequence because I love her too much to nag her. If she forgets to do her hair, it tells me that she doesn't care how she looks anyway, so I am going to select one item of her clothing to pack away for Macy to wear someday. It might be her favorite new shirt, her jean shorts, whatever, but she won't know. This freaked her out pretty good and she remembered to do her hair without a word from me for the first three days. Then came today. She totally forgot. I had to literally gulp down my reminder words and mutter to myself, "Let the consequences do the teaching. Let the consequences do the teaching." So tonight she is going to be upset when her new popsicle print jammies are no where to be found. If she wants to earn them back she's going to come up with some good plan on her own.
Here is our new scripture song. It is part of 1 Nephi 1:20, to the tune of "On a Golden Springtime" from the Children's Songbook.

But behold, I, Ne-ephi
Will show unto you
__ That the tender mercies of the Lord are over all
Those who-om he hath cho-osen
Because of the-eir faith
To make them mighty ev'n unto
The pow'r of deliv'rance!


The Haynes Herd said...

good luck with the Love and Logic stuff. I took a class on it once and they always encouraged it at the school I taught at. Very good theories. But remembering to put them into prctice is the part that gives me tne trouble ;) So does Leslie have her new popcicle jammies back yet? I'm interested to hear the rest of the story.
ps I love the rino pics from your last post. Classic stuff. I can't wait until all the cousins get together this summer. We'll have 4 little rinos running around and into each other I'm sure!

Jackie said...

Here's the followup. She was mystified when her jammies were gone. Then when I reminded her why she cried and cried, "I hate learning the hard way!!" I felt bad but figured that the consequence wasn't really even that mean and now is a good time to learn to deal with the choices she's made. To earn them back she has to remember five days in a row and brush MY hair for twenty minutes.

Our little family said...

I'm going to start using this with our two older girls. They are just way too priviliged, and take EVERYTHING for granted, and I'm tired of the huge messes and constantly giving to them, and them never giving back. My problem is, how did you come up with the appropriate way for her to earn her jammies back? And will it get harder each time? My friend is using the love and logic books, and if her kids don't pick up their toys, it shows her they don't care about them, so she throws them away. Yes, THROWS them away. She does that with everything of theirs. So they are both down to one pair of shoes now. I have a few problems with that. 1-It's wasteful. They HAVE to have shoes that follow their dress code, so I'm not going to throw them away, because then I'll just have to buy new ones. And why get rid of perfectly good toys? I like your idea of saving them for Macy. 2-It's SO extreme. I'm just not an extreme person. I also want them to learn that they can fix their mistakes. She argues that if she keeps the shoes, when they run out of shoes, she'll have to give them a pair back, and then what will they have learned? They just figured out how to outwit Mom.

Sorry about the novel. I just haven't been able to figure out the appropriate "earning back" gesture they need to make. How did you figure it out?

Anonymous said...

We went to the fire station recently too. It was fun to be there. Jackson loved the big fire truck.

Macy is so cute. I don't know if I ever said congrats to you..Congrats if I didn't.